Incompetence. Utter Incompetence.

— Early January 2014 —

2014 is going to our year.  I just know it.

 

After being approved by everyone and jumping every possible hoop, Jen/we are ready to go.  We now have to set up our meeting to sign the consents at the clinic.  (Again, inside my head I scream- this is really happening!)

 

This appointment requires all three of us to be there and go through all of the legal paper work etc with the clinic.  The clinic has now received our surrogacy contract from our lawyers, all of Jen’s blood tests back, her test results back, and our pysch evaluation/approval.  I called and booked us in for our appointment mid-January- the soonest they could get us in.  It has also been one month from the time the clinic got my anesthesia information from the hospital so they would have a plan in place for my egg retrieval. Fabulous.

 

This appointment didn’t come without a big old financial price tag.  One would think signing some forms wouldn’t break the bank.  Well… they’d be wrong.  For this appointment, we had to pay close to $2000.

 

The day after booking the appointment I get a call from the IVF nurse.  She is needing to change the appointment as whomever booked it didn’t book it with the right ppl.  Okay.  Frustrating as arranging these appointments so three people, with three different jobs, could all be there wasn’t easy.  But we would make it work.  She started listing off days and we finally found one that we could arrange to make work.

 

She then notes that she wants to go through the check list to ensure we have everything ready.  She rambles through all of our appointments and documents that she has received.  She then stops at Jen’s basic blood work.  They haven’t received it.  Ok… well she did it over 2 months ago.  I know cause I was on the phone with her when she was there.  The IVF nurse starts saying how we can’t move forward until we have everything.

 

Yes, we get it.  But we did the blood work.  Can she check again?  Nope.  Not there.  She then says if we don’t get it before the appointment we would, again, need to reschedule.  The next appointment however was another 3 weeks after the first one.  Well in Feburary.

 

You HAVE to be kidding me.  Ok, I call Jen all frantic and she then runs across the world to get her new blood requisition and get it done that day so we would have it all back.  It’s not like we have to work or anything… :S  We make it work.  She even texts me a pic of the needle in her arm for ‘proof’ so the clinic doesn’t say it’s our fault!  Again, Jen is my hero.

 

It’s weird being somewhat helpless.  Being able to run around and get everything sorted out yourself is one thing, but asking someone else to drop everything and run is another.  Especially after she is already agreeing to do the most selfless act in the world.

 

I call the IVF nurse back and say she did the blood work, it should be back in time, and we should be ready to go for the appointment.  Just before I hang up, I said that I’m looking forward to this cycle as having full anesthesia during the egg retrieval is going to make all the difference! 🙂

 

… she pauses….  uhhhhhh…. right.  We did get that back from the anesthesia clinic, she says.  Then notes that she is going to put that on the agenda for this Friday’s RE check in with the clinic.  WHAT?  It had been a month since they got the report and they haven’t done anything with it?

 

Perhaps the clinic missed the point where we wanted to get pregnant.  And we had already been trying for over 2 years now… Plus our schedule was now based on my and Jen’s schedule (aka our bodies!) so not having the right info on one day could make the difference between a cycle in February or March.

 

So frustrating…. Obviously upset I asked her if that was going to hold up this cycle.  She said that she didn’t know and would have the RE’s look at it this week.

 

Wonderful.

 

I get I’m impatient and excited to get started, but waiting around for the clinic to do their job wasn’t in my waiting plan.  Pissed, I call Dan and Jen to vent about their incompetence.  They both being me back sane-ish and tell me it will all work out.  Yes, this was alllllll going to work out.

 

 

….. Monday, after the above noted ‘Friday RE Meeting’, and 5 weeks after the clinic received my report …..

 

I called the clinic and asked to speak with the IVF nurse.  After the amount of money we have spent at this clinic, I’m anxious for answers re: the new plan for my egg retrieval.

 

She answers and assures me that the RE’s discussed my situation at their Friday meeting.  It was decided that another RE, one who’s cousin was an anesthetist, was going to take the lead on this one and find out what we could do.

 

Me:  Okay, did she have a projected time line for this?

Her:  I don’t know. It is now up to the other RE.  She is going to handle it.

Me: Okay, but did she think we could be on track for a February cycle start date?

Her: She didn’t know.  We would have to wait and see what this RE would come up with.

Me: I’m just frustrated now that you’ve had this info for over a month and nothing has been done.

Her:  We are working on it.  That’s all I can tell you.

 

Wonderful.  Just wonderful.

 

 

….. Monday, the following week after the above conversation, and 6 weeks after the clinic received the report ….

 

Another call to the IVF nurse.  I hadn’t heard from her at all with any updates so I called and left a message to see if there was anything I could do?  Any calls I could make?

 

She called back after a couple hours and said that there was no update.  Last she heard, the RE was going to talk to her cousin…

 

Me: Ok, did she have a time line?  Or even a meeting date with him?

Her: She didn’t know.

Me: Ok, is there a way to find out a projected time line?

Her: She didn’t know.

 

Fabulous.

 

Next week is our consent appointment and hopefully, meeting with our RE, we would get answers.

Anesthesia – Sharp Curve Ahead

— December 2013 —

If I was to recap my experience during my previous egg retrieval in one sentence… it would be- Never, ever, again. It really wasn’t supposed to be this bad. The story was supposed to go something like being a tad nervous, getting the IV, getting virtually knocked out- suck the eggs out- wake up and ache a tad.

IMG_20140418_111735_edit

Yes, that’s a giant needle sticking through me to get the eggs….

However, of course…. it wasn’t. The story was in fact a morning of pure torture. There were two reasons why this was so- the first was that the RN gave me the meds I need so I clot better too quickly which, in turn, made me so nauseous that I dry heaved into a bucket for while getting ready. This could be slightly fixed by slowing down the meds this time, but ultimately, this was an obstacle that one could overcome. On the other hand, the conscious sedation drugs not working at all… now that seemed to be medieval torture. They gave me a heavy mixture of versad and fentanyl… and then more as I started screaming when the needles started through my vagina into my ovaries to suck the eggs out. Yes, never ever again. I still have nightmares.

So the good news is that because we know that it didn’t work, the clinic referred me to the anesthesia clinic at McMaster Hospital. In order to proceed with this surrogacy cycle, I’d need to do another egg retrieval. So this appointment was a must. I was hoping that they would give me a script for some magic formula so that I could sleep through the procedure like the rest of the infertile world.

After chatting with the doc, he gave me the bottom line. My body must not react to one of the two drugs given during normal conscious sedation, so we basically would need to give me full sedation in order to ensure that it works. We know that ‘normal’ sedation works with me as I’ve had a knee surgery and a tonsillectomy successfully.

Well that seems easy enough- right?

Wrong.

The problem with being fully sedated is that there are only certain doctors that are able to perform this. The list is short and basically includes anesthesiologists and emerg room docs in emergency cases. The other obstacle would be that a higher level of equipment would be needed to perform this type of anesthesia.

Okay. Think logically. We can figure this out. As my chest starts to heave in and out quicker and quicker I start to think about what this actually means.

Problem 1: Since Ontario de-listed fertility treatments, I now go to a clinic that is private. It is literally an office that has a couple treatment rooms- not a hospital. That means that they do not have all the hi-tech and fancy equipment needed to do this. Nor do they have an anesthesiologist on staff.

Ok…. Maybe I could have the procedure in the Hospital where they have these docs and equipment.
This leads us to Problem 2: I would then need to ‘rent’ out a surgery room, a recovery room, plus the nursing and physician staffing to go with them. Ummmm…. I’m assuming this cost wouldn’t be minimal.

But… after calling the clinic and brainstorming, that wouldn’t work either.  The clinic staff no longer have privileges at the Hospital.  Plus, McMaster Hospital doesn’t have the right equipment nor trained staff to inseminate the eggs on site.  Therefore, the only option would be  to extract the eggs, then get them quickly to the clinic…. but that won’t work either.  It would take too much time to get them there… they wouldn’t survive.

everythinghappens

Cause if you say ‘Everything happens for a reason’ I may just punch you in the face.

Okay… so the only viable option at this point is to try and get an anesthetist to come to clinic on my retrieval day and put me out.  Again, not simple.  It’s not like it’s a dentist appointment where we can call the doc ahead and tell him to meet us at a place and time.  Nope, the date completely would depend on my cycle- which at the best of times was unpredictable.  This would mean we could give a doc 48 hours notice and we would need them to be at the clinic ready.

… sigh….

The fertility clinic received this report from the anesthesia clinic in the middle of December.  So now that they had it, they could start working on a plan for me.  I would ultimately need to pay the anesthesia  doc whatever they would want to charge for their services (which we have no idea as it would be private so up to them…. $$$$$$).  But ‘it’s only money’, right?.

Stress levels just raised at least 100%.  If they couldn’t get someone into the clinic- what would I do?

At this point, I’m about ready to have a nervous breakdown… and I know the dollar amounts left in our accounts.

Yep.  FML. Again.